Anxiety Does Not Define You

By Rebecca Rangel, MFT Practicum Student

I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, her name is Worry. Worry joined my life at a young age. It feels so long ago that it has been hard to remember how and when we first met. However, I can say that she has been by my side through thick and thin, the laughs, the tears, the good, the bad, and the ugly. She really had a way with words, which made it easy to believe everything she said. She always told me that when I got control of things, everything would be okay, but in all honesty, that wasn’t always true. I was left feeling worked up or I dwelled on those things that I could not control. When things didn’t work out, I would be left to assume that I didn’t do everything that I could. Worry thought that I could use some encouragement, so she introduced me to her good friend Perfectionism. Perfectionism made herself quite comfortable, really fast. Before I knew it, she was hanging around us all the time. She presented herself well and made everything sound so much better. She even gave me a few pointers about how I could avoid disappointing myself and others. She said it was really easy, just don’t make mistakes! As I continued to grow up, these two friends of mine clung pretty closely to me.

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that Worry and Perfectionism were not going anywhere. I realized that they are a part of who I am, but they do not define me. Looking back, I like to reflect on one of the biggest decisions I have ever made, which was to apply for graduate school. Did I know it was a big step? Yes. Did I know it could be competitive? Yes. Did I think I had what it takes to make it through? Probably. Then, the moment I was accepted into my program, I chose to celebrate it. I chose not to worry about how I was going to make it happen or how much of a challenge it was going to be. From then on, I had to learn a lot! It started with how to have a healthy relationship with my two friends and to know that I am capable of making decisions for myself. I had to understand that a little worry is and has always been there to help me accomplish my tasks. While a little Perfectionism is and has always been there to encourage me to put my best effort forward. It became clear that the more I worried about things and how perfect they would turn out, the bigger and heavier they felt. Who wants to carry that load? I also had to learn that I cannot always have control of things, only me, and that it was okay. I had to learn to let go and just have a little faith. You know, hoping and believing in something that is not seen? It is definitely easier said than done, but it takes a conscious and intentional decision to walk down a path, knowing that you are right where you are meant to be.

Tips to Shake Off Worry and Perfectionism

Breathe – Make time to take some deep breaths and center yourself.
Be patient & kind to yourself – you are allowed to make mistakes!
Talk to someone – family, friends, or someone you can trust.

Rebecca Rangel is pursuing a Master’s degree in psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a Practicum Trainee at the Champion Counseling Center.